Gift giving is not unconditionally provided by a narcissistic mother. Too often, this mother blames herself for their childs failures and refuses to take any credit for the childs successes. While they fully blame the child for all failures, the childs accomplishments are never fully their own. Narcissistic mothers see their child as a physical extension of themselves and therefore openly take credit for any successes the child achieves. No show of remorse is satisfactory to a narcissistic mother. By contrast, a narcissistic mother expects the child to know without explaining what they have done wrong, gives unreasonable alternatives, and wont accept an apology.
When a child does something wrong, a nurturing mother will explain the unsuitable behavior, provide more acceptable alternatives, and receive any apology given. Whereas a nurturing mother is unconsumed with self-gratification at the expense of a child and takes pleasure in their child doing age-appropriate activities. The child is expected to act as a servant adult. This might include serving the mother breakfast in bed, unreasonable amounts of cleaning, doing excessive chores, and bringing the mother items when called. A narcissistic mother will demand the daughters constant attention by expecting the daughter to meet the mothers needs. Nurturing mothers, by contrast, are elated and proud of their daughters characteristics with no thought of competing. Any sign of a daughter exceeding their narcissistic mother is met with verbal assaults and humiliation. They expect their daughter to look as good as them without looking or acting better than them. Unfortunately, narcissistic mothers often use weight, beauty, intelligence, or talents as grounds for competition. Tries to look like and compete with her daughter.A nurturing mother lets the punishment fit the crime and spends time delicately explaining any offense without threatening abandonment.
This is reinforced every time the mother cuts other people out of their lives for small and sometimes misperceived offenses. Any sign of rebellion is met with threats of abandonment and unreasonable punishment from the narcissistic mother. While a nurturing mother provides comfort, support and understanding without any care for how things appear to others. There is a disregard and often denial for any sadness, discomfort, or suffering. A narcissistic mother is more obsessed with how their child is perceived by others than how the child actually feels.
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